Earlier I cried a little bit on the way home from nursery because I really shouted at Zee this morning and then felt bad.
I feel bad because the house is a mess and the washing’s piled up. I feel bad because I only have one kid and what must it be like for families with 2+ kids and single parents and families with both parents working full time and . . . enough.
I shouted at Zee this morning because he would not let me dress him and wriggled and screamed and made it impossibly hard, like every morning. For nearly four weeks now, he has woken 2-3 times a night, crying, shouting for mummy, wanting milk or ice cream (?) or MoreGuin (who is right next to him) or his hairbrush (?). This morning I’d just had enough. I suspect he is having bad dreams and is unsettled because of potty training. Sometimes there are cycles like these and broken sleep coupled with working stacks up and it’s not fun. So then I get the guilts for shouting at my little man and also for feeling this way, because all I can think of are those who are even more tired or busy or ready to bang their head against a brick wall when the tantrums begin.
That’s not right though, is it? It isn’t a competition. Sometimes it’s just tough. It’s different for us all and comparing doesn’t help. Instead of dwelling on all the things I’m not doing well at the moment, it’d be nice to think about the things that I am, though I don’t know what they are because my brain is so foggy from the broken sleep.
So for every mum today who might be feeling a bit like this, this is what I’d like to share:
It’s a GinBunnyPrints.com card, which I saw on the brilliant Hurrah for Gin’s blog the other week and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Because motherhood, for all its magic and wonder and joy, is bloody tough sometimes. No matter what our situation is, sometimes it’s good to remember we are all doing our best and that’s all we can do. And that a glass of something icy cold and alcoholic should always be kept in reach.