If you can’t say something nice . . .

Tedious This picture, which I spotted on Twitter yesterday, has thrown me into something of a spin. I can’t decide if it’s just a simple mickey take or in fact just something downright mean. Am I having a sense of humour failure/being too over sensitive?

Probably, but these kinds of sweeping generalisations make you, as a parent *she says self-righteously*, feel self-conscious and start questioning your own behaviour in relation to your baby, family and friends.

No one wants to be a bore and I have certainly been very conscious, since Zee’s birth, to try and not be a baby bore. Like worrying about not being a bridezilla, it’s a few people in a very big group, whether overbearing brides-to-be or OTT besotted mums and dads, who give us all a bad name.

So, breaking down these charming headlines. I’m sorry, but the last time I checked, it’s not only loving parents who post Facebook tales, which they hope will amuse or entertain a few of their nearest and dearest. What’s the difference between that and all those posts about champagne cocktails at sunset, wild nights on the town, hangovers from hell and jetting off somewhere exotic? It’s a SITE BASED ON SHARING – sharing excerpts and anecdotes from our lives; our life choices and funnily enough, now I am a parent, quite a lot of my daily life is taken up with my baby. Of course, some people can go completely the wrong way and make their Facebook page a shrine to their darling kids, but if you don’t like it, hide them.

As for smiling wistfully like some sort of martyr, no, I think you’ll find that when we hear stories of long lie-ins, weekends away, partying till 3am and only having to get up to make breakfast before going back to bed, we are smiling at fond memories of when this was us. That’s all. There’s nothing martyr-like about it; it is our choice to have a baby, if someone feels superior and like they’ve done anyone but themselves a favour by having a baby (surrogates aside), then they have a problem.

Other people’s babies – hang on, what’s the issue here? Do they mean the babies of your family and friends? Whom presumably, you actually do give a shit about because you care about your family and friends and take an interest in their lives and their choices, because you are a decent human being? Or the babies of acquaintances, whom you may occasionally hear about, in which case what’s the issue with smiling politely before the conversation moves on?

I think I’ve made my point, as whoever edited this picture has made theirs. Who knows, maybe they are a parent themselves, trying to prove they’re not going to fall into the baby bore trap. But I doubt it. Anyway, enough of all that. I have to go and play Zee this fantastic ‘Spelling Mistakes song’; never mind my toddler being wittier than Oscar Wilde, my baby already is *throws head back and laughs smugly, whilst googling RightMove and contemplating Hortensia and Basil as names for future babies*.


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