Well, whether it’s myth or fact, I am more forgetful than I used to be; hormones, tiredness, whatever, I just don’t remember things like before.
I write myself notes and still forget stuff, I can be staring at something thinking ‘I must remember to take that’ and ten seconds later it’s forgotten. The last time I saw my NCT friends I arrived and swiftly departed, having left Zee’s nappy bag, complete with camera, in the car park at home. As long as I never do the same with Zee that’s all that matters.
So before I forget entirely, I want to make a note of ten things I discovered during pregnancy/labour that I want to remember for if there’s a next time. Well, I say there’ll be ten, it’s memory dependent…
1. Not being able to drink is not the end of the world. Of course it’s not the MOST fun watching your friends drink delicious cocktails (especially when in New York *sigh*) or ice cold beers on a hot day whilst you sit there sipping fruit juice. But it is fun to remember every last detail the next day and not feel like your head is full of bees and you can’t lift your own head from the pillow.
2. People like to play ‘Name That Bump!’ Your bump may end up with about seven different names, which is fine though I imagine it could be tricky if the name you and your beloved have chosen for real becomes the bump’s joke name. Awkward.
3. Choosing names is hard. H was so concerned I would take every opportunity to go on and on and on about names, he said I was only allowed to talk about it for 10 minutes every other day until we agreed. Well guess what, this is something I’ve been thinking about since I was 11, so yes, I probably was going to be all Ariston about it, but tough. It was such a fun thing to be thinking about.
4. To find out, or not find out, that is the question. Such a personal choice and man am I glad we didn’t. There aren’t many genuine surprises in life, and this was without doubt the greatest surprise ever. I honestly didn’t have a preference or clue what the baby would be, and I was so majorly preoccupied with ‘Boy or girl?!?’ I didn’t really focus on the fact I Actually Had To Give Birth. Denial and the mature ‘La la la’ fingers in ears approach worked well for this too.
5. Once people realise you’re not fat you’re pregnant, there will follow The Two Questions Pregnancy Ritual, which goes as follows: When are you due, do you know what you’re having and then it doesn’t matter what your answer to question two is. The only response is along the lines of ‘Oh that’s fantastic!’ Fantastic it’s a boy, fantastic it’s a girl or fantastic you don’t know. It works three ways.
6. Silky pj bottoms. A friend gave me this great tip for the later stages of being mahussive. It’s difficult to hoist yourself about in bed, sometimes I’d get so fed up I would stand next to the bed and stare at it, longing for the day I could lie flat or turn over without it being a three stage manoeuvre. Silky pj bottoms make all the heave-ho-ing a little bit easier.
7. Google is your friend. Can I eat parmesan, can I eat smoked salmon, can I eat five sausage rolls in one go? Yes, yes and yes, but to the last one, don’t be crying post birth because you were a piglet pre birth.
8. When you pack your hospital bag, ear plugs should be the very first thing you pack. Proper ear plugs, wax ones, none of these flimsy foamy jobs. There is a strong chance you will hear other women starting labour before they are moved for The Real Thing, and you do not need to hear those noises. Awkward doesn’t even come close.
9. Gas and air is your very best friend. Miss it and miss out. What a high old time that was.
10. The moment our baby was held up in front of us was the single best moment of our entire lives. The rush of love was so overwhelming I can’t begin to describe it, so I won’t. It’s not something I need to try and remember. That’s a very clever trick Mother Nature plays, because it means that if we’re lucky enough, one day it’ll happen all over again. And then this list will come in very handy indeed.