I get so emotional, baby

Baby blues, they told me, will arrive approximately three days after the birth, you’ll cry non-stop for a day and then you will feel fine. Well, if by a day they meant at least two weeks, and if by ‘afterwards you’ll feel fine’ they meant ‘afterwards you’ll stop crying for maybe a day, feel pretty pleased about it but then sob unashamedly in Café Nero the next day’, then yes, I had the standard baby blues. I definitely didn’t have PND, I’m sure I would know if I had and it must be a horrible experience. But I just could not stop crying. The thought of getting dressed? Sob fest. The thought of driving the car to the clinic to get the baby weighed? Uncontrollable wailing. The idea that H would go on a five hour bike ride with his friends at the weekend – near hysteria. No hang on, wait, that was justified. And the very idea of H going back to work – DOOM!
 
I knew it would pass, but when you’re in it, it just seems hopeless. I’m a natural born crier anyway, a highly sensitive Cancerian, but this was on a whole new level. ‘Hormones,’ people kept saying to me, and nodding knowingly. Well yes, obviously, there’s a few of those bad boys flying around for sure. But I think the enormity of this new situation hit me very hard, and whilst I could not love Zee more, you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. Nothing feels normal. Especially not under the weight of no sleep.
 
But gradually the sobs began to fade, and were replaced with a much more serene feeling. A feeling that would take me by surprise every now and again, a feeling of ‘I can totally do this, it’s all going to be ok.’ And then there was the morning H came in to our room to find me lying next to Zee, crying quietly and taking deep breaths. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked in a slightly nervous tone – had the weeping, wailing weirdo, who had become his wife for the last few weeks, returned?
 
I took a deep breath.
 
‘I just . . . love . . . him . . . sooooooo much!’ I gasped, gazing down at Zee and stroking his exquisitely chubby cheek. 
H beamed. ‘Oh good, you’re back to crying because you’re happy. Phew.’
 
Normal service is resumed.
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